2005-09-15 - 9:32 a.m.

Seriously, one of the hardest things for me has been the lack of interaction. All my friends with kids are either in the suburbs or working.

So I decided to suck it up and try to meet some moms - and so I tried the dreaded playgroup. The first one I went to was okay - the women were all a little Pollyanna-ish for me ( I know, hard to imagine, right?) but it was okay. And then they started planning little theme dates, and no one ever complained about anything, and also, I started to feel a little like the Pigpen of the playgroup. You know, all the women had perfectly organized trendy diaper bags and all the right developmental toys. I, on the other hand, pretty much never have it together.
On our second meeting, my kid had an unexpected, explosively dirty diaper. Which I changed, and then realized I had no bag or anything to put it in, so I asked if anyone had one, expecting a duane reade bag, or a plastic produce bag from the grocery store. Because, you know, that's what I use. I swear to you three women simultaneously pulled out pastel- colored, scented dirty diaper bags. Clearly this was not the group for me.

Second group - in my own neighborhood. They met in the park two blocks away, so that was perfect. Except. They all live in $10M apartments. Ok, maybe not 10, but you get the picture. One of the rules of NYC living is that you don't reveal your actual address until you get to know someone. You tell your street, maybe, but that's it. Not here, though - two of these women could not WAIT to tell us their exact addresses - because they were prestigious ones. Ok, so I thought to myself, Trouble, don't go judging on money. Stick it out. But then I started talking to another mom, let's call her, oh, NO FUCKING COMMON SENSE WOMAN. I won't even illustrate this for you, because it's too long. Let's just say that money and advanced degrees certainly have no bearing on whether or not you can cross the street on your own. So I bailed on that one, too.

But third time's the charm. I finally met a big group of normal, non-cliquey, non-neurotic mothers. Everyone is laid back, everyone is friendly and inclusive, and it's been a total lifesaver for me. It's almost like a miracle.

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