2001-11-18 - 11:14 p.m.

I spent the day Christmas shopping with my friend Patty, who wanted to go hit some big chain stores instead of going to the mall. I'm totally unprepared for Christmas, so I can pretty much go anywhere and buy random crap. I had planned on a quiet, early day of shopping alone, but she was insistent, and I can be made to feel guilty for never seeing my old girlfriends, so I agreed. First off, she was an hour late. Then she called me to tell me that she had to bring her 3 year old. And that they hadn't eaten lunch yet. So it turned into an exhausting and unproductive day, although I did get a few things, AND I wrapped them. And it was fun to spend time with her daughter, but man.

I have gotten so used to the luxury of time to myself.

I have been here for two nights, and have found myself constantly busy. Going to get pet food, and milk, and a thank you present for my cousin. Laundry. Recycling. Walks with the dogs, dinner at my grandmothers, the dropping off of videos and the DVD Patty left in my bag. Coffee with my cousin, who just broke up with his girlfriend of 7 years and is taking over dog-duty when I leave for Florida on Tuesday. So busy, so filled with people. And there are things I really love about it.

But my life now is so different. I don't have to be anything for anyone, I can just BE. For the first time in my adult life. And I've gotta tell you, it's not bad. I've been able to write, and think, and be alone. To walk among hundreds of people and still be alone in my head. Some of my best moments in NY have been like that, solitude in public. Sitting in the park reading the paper and drinking coffee, or walking around running errands in the summer streets in cutoff hospital scrubs and a tank top, with my coffee in a paper to go cup and my hair in a ponytail. Sitting on the curb in Union Square after the Greenmarket, flower shopping and manicures on rainy Saturday mornings. I don't think I'll be able to go back.

So in the course of this happy solitude, I've been doing a lot of reading. And writing. I recently read a book, Misadventures, which is the drolly recorded stories of a woman's life, rather random. I didn't really like the book much, but I am intrigued by the concept. So I'm going to try it out on you, mmkay? Unlike this little endeavor, it's going to actually take a little editing, but I'm going to try to post of week of them. Just stories from different times in my life, as I remember them. I've got a pretty good flow going, so I'm going to just go with my gut and put some up. At the very least I figure I'll be able to get a little insight from the final selection. Anyway, bear with me, will you? Comments welcome.

And now, I have to let my beast outside and get my butt to bed, as I have to face the rush hour commute from hell tomorrow.

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