2002-01-02 - 11:12 a.m.
I'm back. I had a great week upstate, it was just like vacation. I read three of my Christmas books, took long solitary walks in the woods with the Freakshow, and generally hung out - the boyfriend and I spent the first two days alone, which was blissful. It snowed a little, and we made fires and cooked dinner and generally acted sickeningly romantic. A bunch of people came up over the weekend, and we spent New Years cooking dinner together and drinking Tuscan wine and watching the Twil1ght Zone Marathon on TV. So it was great, and just busy enough, and now I'm back in my apartment, wearing my pajamas at 10:30 in the morning, and drinking my second cup of coffee.
On New Years Eve day, the boyfriend and his childhood buddy took the friend's 11 year old twins snowboarding, and his brothers girlfriend and I drove to a nearby town to go grocery shopping for dinner. We talked, really talked, the whole way, and did our shopping, hit the liquor store, then decided to go to a coffee shop so we could talk, uninterrupted, for a while more. And we bonded, big time. We talked about family, and family dynamics, and relationships past and present. We talked about societal pressures on young girls, and our own experiences, and open, honest exchange about insecurities and therapy and psychological modus operandi. When I have that kind of honest dialogue with someone I don't know well, I can't describe the sense of well-being I get. The feeling that this is IT, this is what it's all about. Connection. One hand reaching, and another hand taking it. Frighteningly simple-minded, but I really do believe that it's the only thing that really matters, in the long run. However brief or superficial the connection.
So I wasn't planning to make any resolutions, other than to acquire some form of income that doesn't require me taking off any clothing. But that conversation with Kelly on New Years Eve sparked one. That in 2002, I'm going to do more talking. And more listening. More connecting. And I'm even kind of psyched about it. You know, way better than giving up cigarettes or something ridiculous like that.
And on the job front, I've made a decision. I am going to tell the company that has made me a good, solid offer that I need another week, but I don't want to hold them up. If they need to fill the position sooner, I'm going to let it go. Because I have two interviews, one this week and one next, for two different divisions of a company I'd really love to work for. One I'd thrive at. And the license to one of those divisions is with a company I've worked at before, and loved. I still have to interview for the job, but I'm pretty sure I'll get it. Almost positive that I'll get one of the two. So I'm throwing caution to the wind and taking the chance. All positive thoughts and wishes gladly accepted. Because this could be a big mistake, one I'll rue if I'm still unemployed come February
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last five entries:
done - 2005-09-16
playgroup, my ass - 2005-09-15
late, but heartfelt - 2005-09-13
she lives - 2005-08-18
cheese me - 2005-05-20