2002-03-25 - 6:57 p.m.

I did have a very lovely girls weekend, though. It was cold, but sunny, and the boyfriend had thoughtfully stacked up the firewood, so we had fires and played games and laughed and fought and told stories and drank and smoked and ate like pigs. They had brought up a surprise birthday cake for Jane and I, and they kept us in the living room while they got the coffee ready. Suddenly, we heard a loud and ominous crash, followed by Patty yelling, "It's ok, it's ok, everything is fine." We then heard whispering, and then regular talking, and we identified all the voices except Karen's. We got up and rushed in to find Karen sitting in the kitchen chair, holding a paper towel to her head while Patty hovered around her. Apparently, Karen was trying to get a box of candles from the top of the cabinet, and it fell. She wasn't aware that it was the SuperDeluxe Box of Candles that the boyfriend's mother gave him, weighing at least 30 pounds. So, apparently, the Killer Candle leaped at Karen and clocked her in the head, causing an alarming amount of bleeding. Patty was making things much worse.

P: Kar, you have to let me see it. You might need stitches!

Me: I have a sewing kit.

K: No, I need to stop the bleeding.

P: Oh my God, there's blood dripping down your face, let me look by your ear.

K: It's not by my ear. It's right where my hand is.

P: HOW DO YOU KNOW? Lemme see.

K: You are not seeing. I'm stopping the bleeding.

P: But I NEED to see it, let me see it...(starts trying to PRY Karen's fingers off her head.)

Me: Patty, look at her face. If you don't knock it off she's going to deck you.

Finally, it stopped bleeding and she got to see it. With much grimacing and face making behind Karen's back. When I went to the bathroom, Karen followed me, shut the door, and said, "You look at it." I was not a little nervous about this, due to Patty's hysterics, but I stood on the toilet seat (shut up) and parted her hair to see a little tiny line running down her scalp. I breathed a sigh of relief, told her it was nothing, and that was the end of it. But damn, I never knew your head could bleed so much. You'd have thought she'd been scalped. Although she did say to me, as we were leaving the bathroom, "Did you take my PICTURE?" Heh. Which I did, because I think there should be record of these things.

At one point I was telling them the story of the officemate's plant, and when I got to the part where she told me not to forget to water her plant, they all, in unison, said "Ohhhhhhhh..." and starting laughing, because they knew the end already. That is not very supportive behavior, if you ask me.

It was a great weekend, except for the 2 hours out of my way we had to drive to drop off Jane, because apparently her control freak boyfriend was not participating. If she wanted to go to girls weekend, then she was on her own. I am trying very hard to let it go, as she really does appear to be happy and settled in this freakishly dysfunctional relationship. I gave up banging my head against the wall for Lent.

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