2002-04-30 - 10:09 p.m.

I did get everything I need, though. I braved the crowds at the T0ysrUs in T1mes Square to try to find a Th0mas the T@nk Engine roundhouse or some such shit for my nephew's birthday. Th0mas is like crack to that kid, I swear. It's all he wants, and he has a complete mental catalogue of all things Th0mas ever made. And I had a drink with Jerry, and got a manicure and pedicure, and went to the old man gay bar across the street to order a cheeseburger to go, then I ran to the drugstore while it cooked.

This bar is actually pretty quiet, populated mostly by older men from the neighborhood. As you all know, a fair number of my friends are gay, and I'm no stranger to the gay bar. As a matter of fact, I've never received anything but a warm welcome in a gay bar, so I was unprepared for my first experience here. They do not want my kind in this bar, though, and it's made abundantly clear by the synchronized swivel of the barstools as one by one they look over their shoulders to glare at me. It's gotten to the point where I walk in and immediately say," I'm JUST here to pick up my food, I'm not staying, calm down." It's kind of a divey bar, too. Normally I would not put up with such treatment, but oh, the burgers. They're just like you'd make at home, handmade with real ground beef and misshapen, on a soft roll with sesame seeds and really good pickles and perfect greasy french fries...mmmmmm. So I suck it up. Plus I already know to tip the grill guy, as I once watched him yell at Beau for not doing so. And he ain't playin'.

I was talking to my sister in law about the new apartment (lease still not in my hands, btw) and she told me how excited my niece will be to find out it has a doorman. She'll think she's Eloise, for sure. So we were joking about it a little, and I told her that I already told the boyfriend he'd have to be out of town, because my niece is 9 and she's not big on the boys. And my sister in law started laughing and said, "Yeah, I can't wait till you have to explaint to her that you're living with him." Wait just a second. I have to explain to her? Aren't YOU her mom? Isn't that YOUR job? Nope, guess it isn't. Damn. First I had to be the one to explain divorce, and now I have to explain living in sin. Solidifying my reputation as the crazy aunt. All I need now is a big hat and a shitload of kitties.

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