2002-05-22 - 8:29 p.m.
My Mom took the Freakshow to the vet today, as she's been favoring her left back leg lately - turns out she has some torn ligaments, and the vet gave her some anti-inflammatory medicine and limited her activity (not that her fat ass gets much activity anyway, unless you count eating steak ), hoping that it will heal itself. She has to go back in a week, and if it doesn't seem to be working she may need ligament surgery, for which he recommended an orthopedic veterinary surgeon. He also did some blood work on her, as she's been drinking alot lately. This all makes me very nervous - I'm hoping that her leg will heal itself - is it practical to do knee surgery on an 11 year old dog? I don't know - of course, I'm imagining the worst, and just spent a few minutes visualizing, against my will, having to put her to sleep. Which of course led to much sobbing and nose-wiping. Any of you who have a dog know - it's not a pet, it's a member of your family. And for me, she's the last remaining member of my one time nuclear family. She was my comfort and my constant during my divorce, the one thing I took with me. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself though, she might be fine. No telling.In other news, I went to the gym tonight. And, shockingly, I actually WANTED to go. Perhaps an after-effect of my shopping trip to Bl00mingd@les. Those are some harsh fitting room mirrors in that place. Anyway, after that fruitless trip I talked to the boyfriend, who wanted me to go to the park behind the library to see that moron standing on a dinner plate on an 80 foot pole. No thanks - so I went to the gym, and ran hard for 30 minutes, and skipped the weights so I could come home and update before I shower and meet the boyfriend for some food. (Yes, I realize that going to dinner at 9pm negates the run, but I figure I'm breaking even. Heh.)
Last night I went to have coffee with Ellen, and we were standing in the new, beautiful park across the river from Manhattan, and a helicopter flew overhead. And we stood there, in the dusky light, looking up at it while the wind blew off the Hudson. Silent. We talked a little, later, about these new threats. And we talked about how although it's good to have perspective on your insignificance in the big picture, you push away the horror, of terrorists or death or cancer or losing your loved ones. You have to, you can't go through life dwelling on the heartbreak, because there's always more where it came from.
And tonight, I hear on the news that they found the remains of that poor intern. And it comes and touches you with its cold hand, and the reality breaks in, for a brief minute: Anything can happen. At any time.
So I'm going to call someone I love, right now.
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last five entries:
done - 2005-09-16
playgroup, my ass - 2005-09-15
late, but heartfelt - 2005-09-13
she lives - 2005-08-18
cheese me - 2005-05-20