2002-10-16 - 7:40 p.m.

So all that bitching I've been doing about the whole elevator man thing? I take it back. Tonight I came home, laden with grocery bags and mail and umbrella, in the pouring rain and the wind, and realized, at my apartment door, that I forgot my keys. So I pushed the elevator button, he came up, I told him my dilemma, and he went down, got the building's spare keys, came back up and opened it for me. So tonight, I LOVE the elevator man. The prospect of trying to find a cab in this Nor'easter and then hiking up to the political event the boyfriend is attending to get his set of keys was decidely unappealing, and possibly could have sent me right over the edge. So I'm thankful for avoiding that.

Today at work, my friend Maria approached me with a guilty, shameful face, and said, Trouble? I have to tell you something, but don't get mad at me, ok?" I said sure, and she went on to tell me that she's going to get breast augmentation, and started to explain her reasons to me. I stopped her and said, Maria, honey, why on earth would I be MAD? and she said, I know you're against it, and you're going to tell me I'm beautiful just the way I am.

So, to clarify. I don't have anything against plastic surgery or plastic boobs, per se. At all. And if someone, especially someone I love, is so unhappy with something about themselves that they feel compelled to fix it, well, of course I support them. I have lots of friends who have had something done.

My problem is societal. I have issue with our society, the one that worships youth and unrealistic physical perfection. That cares about blowjobs instead of bombing. I don't understand the fixation with false youth, I just don't. I understand the lure of real youth, the beauty of a young person, a child or teenager, who is unblemished and un-selfconscious, who brims with hope and innocence. Really, sometimes I see one of the ballerinas from the dance school across the street, or two young kids on the subway, and I feel nostalgic. For my own innocence, for life before heartbreak and stress and loss and lessons learned.

But people. I am fully aware of the fact that I cannot go back. N-O-S-T-A-L-G-I-A. I am certainly not deluded enough to think that eliminating my laugh lines and lifting my breasts will turn me back into that person. I read an article about the raging underground popularity of B0t0x, and all the people that are doing it now. Do those people believe that a wrinkle-free face will fool death? That smooth skin will hold off the march of time? Why are we fighting against one of the few absolutes in this world? WE WILL GET OLD.

And I know that people do it because of the PRESSURE. Pressure for male executives to look young and vital. Pressure for women to remain "viable" on the dating market. And I can't even explain how very sick and wrong I find this. Why don't we, collectively, fight battles we can win?

** This rant brought to you by the new Mich@el M00re film, B0wling for C0lumb1ne. In a roundabout way.

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last five entries:
done - 2005-09-16
playgroup, my ass - 2005-09-15
late, but heartfelt - 2005-09-13
she lives - 2005-08-18
cheese me - 2005-05-20

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