2002-10-29 - 7:16 p.m.

It's cold here, I had to buy a peacoat, and the leaves upstate are brilliantly colored and falling in crazy spirals. We went out for breakfast, and antique shopping, and to a flea market. Went and saw the boyfriends brother's awesome house, and had wine and steak, and came back to work in the cold, crisp air. Feels like winter in the morning.And dark when I leave the office.

And this weather makes me crazy, nostalgic and feeling loss and hopelessness some days. Others, I jump out of bed and breathe deeply and go out to lunch and feel happy, ridiculously thrilled by as little as a pot of mums on a stoop. Strange, but it happens every year. Just a seasonal phase, or bi polar disorder? It's a toss up, really.

And I think I might just sign up for that book writing thing. I have a story, (contrary to what this diary may lead you to believe) and maybe this is a way to tell it. I'm scared to commit, though.

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