2003-03-13 - 11:32 p.m.

I've had a lot to say, been kind of tuned in to the running commentary in my head, but not now, sitting here. I had Jerry and Tom here tonight, and we had a little debate going, got my ire up, and now I'm spent. Heh.

The other day, though, I walked to the far subway station to feel the sun on my face for a bit, and I watched the dog with the tartan wool coat, and the old woman walking slowly with her metal walker, wispy white hair escaping from under her knit cap, and the way the light hit the painted memorial tiles hanging from the chain link fence on the corner. I looked down at the crosswalk, and there was the Home & Garden section of the times, folded in a perfect commuter fold. And I thought, yes, this is what I should be doing, paying attention. It's been dark and cold and dreary for years now, it seems, and I need to get out of my head. I spent the rest of the commute paying attention, studying the faces of the people on the train, their shoes, their expressions, their Slavic newspapers, their dogs-in-bags. And my day was really much better. Almost like meditation, that is for me. And I've been doing morning pages, and yoga stretches before I shower, and I've been getting out and having a little fun. We went to see the Ex0nerated last night, and to see a funk band on Tuesday, and I had dinner with Brad and saw my friends baby and my cousin's house. I even took a bath one night this week.

And I'm taking tomorrow off, because work is work and it's not going to ease up before June, but deadlines are over so it'll be better now. And we're going upstate early, and I plan on cooking and reading and doing laundry and pretty much not leaving the house. Maybe I'll be able to sleep in for a change. And I have a trip planned, to Miami, my birthday weekend. Work with play thrown in. So things are looking up.

Hello, Spring? Any time now....

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