2003-05-22 - 9:35 p.m.

So this morning as I approached the subway station, there was a woman walking in front of me, and a shuffling street person, dirty and scratching at his head, muttering to himself. The woman slowed at the entrance, to see if the man was going down, and he was, so she waited a minute. I approached at the same time as another woman,who also slowed to give the man a little distance on her, and then all three of us, at the same time, went down together, sensing safety in numbers.

Around the turnstiles in my station are black iron bars, keeping the platform separated from the token booth area. I was inside, through already, and the man was outside, just outside the newsstand, looking through the bars. All of a sudden he started yelling, "DUDE! DUDE! Gimme a swipe!" Everyone on the platform ignored him, including me, nose buried in my book. He got louder and more insistent, and I finally looked up and he had his arms through the bars, waving them wildly as he yelled directly at me, "DUDE!" heh. And you know, I always swipe people through. But not that crazy fucker.

Work is still crazy, and I know I said I wouldn't write about it, but I have to. I am now, officially, at the end of my rope. Honestly, something has got to give. Two more weeks and I'll have some release, but Lawd, I don't know if I'ma make it.

And now, a short list.

(Some of ) the things I love about the boyfriend:

~ his imitations of me. When we are having a "discussion", I very often get a) enraged or b)up on my soapbox, and he takes it very well. It's quick with me, that flash of anger, means nothing, and he gets it, and always lets it go. Then a day or two later he'll come out of the bedroom and launch into a full fledged face-making, hand-waving imitation of me, and I will die laughing. It's so good for me, to laugh at myself

~ when I get up in the middle of the night, to go to the bathroom or get some water, he immediately almost-wakes, and mumbles, "You ok, baby?"

~ he's opened up the world for me.

~ he has never, ever, wanted me to be anything or anyone except exactly who I am

He's away, landing tonight at midnight, and I'm appreciating him while he's gone.

I'm gonna miss the envelope, though.

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