2003-09-05 - 8:37 p.m.

The boyfriend and I, see, have this sort of loose timeline. Like that in the beginning of next year sometime, we'll start trying to have a baby. Which means between now and then, we'll get married. And as I saw Labor Day approaching, and Autumn looming large, I started to spin. Is this right? Can it work? Are our small issues of today going to be our life or death issues down the road? It's out of control, I finally realized, and have been talking about it, and I think it's my fear - I told my Mom last night that our day to day is great - it's when I start projecting that I freak myself out. *sigh* It's been a long two weeks.

The boyfriend is at the game with our friend, and I'm going to meet them out after. Maybe. I'm tired tonight, and not feeling great, and it's already 8:30 and I haven't even made myself any dinner. Either way, I'm off to do a little journal reading and my solitude. Maybe I'll be back later.

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