2003-10-02 - 10:58 p.m.

Sept 23, JFK airport.

On the way to the airport in the morning, I watched the familiar scenery blur by, that same route to the airport I take all the time, on countless dark mornings just like this. I watch the pistachio colored row houses, with their tiny fenced yards, like outdoor cubicles. The projects, with dirty broken neon fluorescent lights and the billboard advertising apartments available. I always thought this about my old route, too, from the suburbs to Newark, it all becomes so familiar, all those things you see outside the realm of your own little world, things you know nothing about, really, but feel like they're somehow yours, like you have some sort emotional squatters rights.

Credit card, bag, luggage to the skycap at the curb. The last cigarette outside the airport doors in the first light of day, the ritual phone calls to my Mom and the boyfriend to let them know I'm getting on the plane, escalator, security check, coffee. They're all the same in a way, these trips. All those things in roughly that order, done in that travellers trance, that lull of movement without thought. Going. Somewhere.

And then the plane, of course. Planes make me nostalgic; sitting in the window seat staring at the clouds makes me thinks of things I don't usually, and I wonder why that is. What it is about flying that makes me quick to well up, makes me think of loss. It's kind of freaky, actually, although I've grown used to it. But that, of course, is only when it's quiet.

Please, please, if I ever have a child... could you remind me not to fly with it before it's 2? There were at least a half dozen babies on the flight, which made for six hours of nonstop screaming, as there was always at least ONE crying. And somewhere around Colorado I think they were all going at once. Plus, it must be awful for the babies. It's awful for ADULTS, flying these days.

And then San Francisco, where I went to a teen night fashion show and was picked up by one of my clients. Who shocked me by bringing along some hard lemonade and a pack of smokes, and suggested we pull into the back lot of SFma to drink and smoke cigarettes and wait for Deb to arrive. heh. Did the fashion show ( I will not even attempt to describe the decibel of the shrieking.Try to imagine, if you will, rappers with track suits and diamonds and male models wearing underwear, on stage in front of thousands of 15 year old girls. Hepped up on free soda and gift bags. Yes, it was. Hell.) Had dinner, worked the next day, had my hair done and bought some very girly and un-like me pink crystal chandelier earrings (hey, it was black tie. And my dress was strapless) Bonded with the new president of my company. Had some drinks, saw some people I haven't seen in ages, went to the benefit fashion show. Where L1z@ M1ne11i sang. Surreal, is all I have to say about that. And the next morning I had a late flight, so I ordered room service breakfast and got to chill out a little before I left.

And since then, well, nothing too exciting has happened. Except I wrote an entry, of course. And I'm gonna write another one tomorrow, you watch.

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