2003-11-19 - 10:43 p.m.
About three weeks ago, I agreed to go to a Pil@tes class that they were having in my building, in someone's apartment. I feel like I wrote about this, but I didn't find any mention in the (sparse) recent entries. I met a woman in the building, and she invited me to join her exercise class, one night a week, 7:30. So I agreed, and I was actually quite excited, as I thought that maybe only having to walk DOWN ONE FLIGHT OF STAIRS would actually get me to exercise. You know, since the gym right around the corner didn't work. Lower your standards, friends. So I was all happy, and I went down there, and the woman who opened the door - well. She was somewhere in her 50's, I'd guess, but sort of..ageless..and she had a short, asymmetrical bob dyed jet black. Burgundy lipstick and toenails, toe ring, dressed in black caftan like sweats. Oh, and big black horn rimmed glasses. And she was perfectly nice, and I was the first to arrive, happy to be able to see someone else's apartment, and then she laughed. Well, actually she snorted. Loudly. And that's it - not the laugh with the involuntary snort at the end, just straight up snorting. It was rather alarming, and the first time I thought it was a mistake, but every time she showed her teeth, the snort.But that's not the point. The point is that it was like the Exercise Class for the Feeble. While warming up, doing NECK ROLLs for chrissakes, she cried out and grabbed her neck, then went to the kitchen for an ice pack. Then her back hurt. Then Nancy got a cramp in her foot. Then the other one couldn't stretch her left hip. And the owner of the apartment, by the end, was laying on her bed eating candy while we finished. No shit.
Afterwards we sat around for a bit and they told me stuff about the building, so I liked that part, but I'm not paying money to sweat with the infirm.
And then the week after I was in market, and then last week I forgot, and she left me a message today. Shit. I totally flaked on it, and I feel awful, although it is a class by class payment. I still feel like I disappeared, though, and when I tried to return her call tonight, no answer and no machine.
I do this sometimes. I know it's wrong, I know it's selfish, but I swear, it's nothing personal. I just get caught up. And the truth is, a lot of the time I want to be by myself - Not on the phone, or glued to the computer, or visiting.It's no reflection on the company or situation, although I'm afraid some interpret it that way.
I was like that as a kid, actually. I would be out playing with the kids in the neighborhood, and I'd tell them I had to go to the bathroom and then go to my room and read. My mom used to pry me away to go back out, that I couldn't just leave people waiting like that. But now she's not the boss of me, so I've indulged it. It's just that it's so far down on the Things I Need To Change About Myself list.
Raining here, pouring, teeming, mercury raining. And windy. But it's warm in here, I'm in my pajamas, and life is good. My office, however, is hell. Literally. It is 82 degrees in my office. And no one in the entire building seems to be able to do fuck all about it. And right now, there is much turmoil and frustration at work and I don't think I need to tell you that stifling heat helps the situation not at all. Tonight, at 5:30, I shut down my computer, wiped the sweat off my forehead, grabbed my coat and stuck my head in Deb's office - "Your sweaty and disgruntled staff is leaving now, before somebody gets hurt."
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last five entries:
done - 2005-09-16
playgroup, my ass - 2005-09-15
late, but heartfelt - 2005-09-13
she lives - 2005-08-18
cheese me - 2005-05-20