2003-11-25 - 11:01 p.m.
I have learned something, something very important, in these last few weeks. I've learned to stay in my life, in the right now, to stop projecting the worst. Ok, so I didn't learn it in a few weeks.It actually took me somewhere around 36 years. But at the very least, I GET it now, although I'm sure I'm not past the occasional backslide.Things in my life are good, really good. And they could be better, even, if I'd stop worrying about what I don't have or don't do, and start appreciating what I do. (How 0prah, eh?)
For so long now I've felt like I've had one foot in each life, my last one and this new one. And I'm not sure what it is, but I don't feel that way anymore. The only thing keeping me from merging those two lives into something immediate was, well, me.
And tonight? We found rings. I had thought, actually, that I'd found them a few weeks ago, but I was wrong. Tonight, we found them, both of us. And they will be purchased from the people who made them, which makes me doubly happy. It's not official, really, but hell, this is my diary, right? And we're not going to do any big drawn out thing. No formal engagement - we'll just get married. Married. Just that.
Because that, that makes me happy. No need for the head spinning.
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last five entries:
done - 2005-09-16
playgroup, my ass - 2005-09-15
late, but heartfelt - 2005-09-13
she lives - 2005-08-18
cheese me - 2005-05-20