2004-01-15 - 10:45 p.m.

And this will be a small wedding, mostly family, a ceremony and dinner. The good good boyfriend is doing all of the legwork, we had some ideas already and after a short trip this weekend, hopefully I'll have a lot of it buttoned up. Simple, you hear? No wedding dress, no shower, no band, no bridesmaids. Us, my niece and nephew, and another each to stand up. No favors, no decorations... you get the picture.

P is beside himself. He's worse than a mother, being denied the wedding of her dreams. He sighed heavily when I told him small and low key, agreed dejectedly to no shower, no decorating, no none of that...

P: Flowers! I'll just do flowers, you know, something for the table..

Me: Flowers for the table my ass. I envision a giant floral tunnel we have to walk through

P: NEVER! Nothing like that, just little table thingies... because, you know, you have to put a penny under the cups.

Me: What the fuck are you talking about?

P: YOU KNOW! To see who gets to take the centerpiece home!

Me: STOP IT RIGHT NOW

P: Ok, but one last party. In New York....

Me: Dress. Its the dress I need you for.Not a wedding dress, but a great dress.

And then, my friends, we realized. Before the wedding, we will be in Tusc@ny together. So I am going to have my very own Queer Eye F0r the Straight Girl shopping trip in Florence, for the dress I'll wear to my wedding.

Pinch, pinch.

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