2004-03-06 - 3:02 a.m.
Tonight I planned to try to do something about lightening up my layout, here, but it's 2:38 am, and I'm exhausted from a long week of work, but also strangely wired from the cappuccino I stupidly had at 11:30 pm, so I don't think this is the time. I went to dinner early, about 7:45, but I guess by the time we walked down there and ate, it was later than I thought. We automatically went out for coffee, and I had no idea how late it was. Come to think of it, that place was packed.Anyway, my deadline was today at 5, and I left the office at 6, and goddamn, I'm glad it's the weekend.
As the weather gets nicer, I'm noticing more homeless. Tonight, heading down the subway stairs with Michael, I saw a homeless woman, an old one, with half a dozen plastic bags full of stuff. She had a kerchief on her head, and was putting some kind of pamphlet into one of the bags, with a kind of peaceful smile on her face. And I started thinking about it, and I thought how awful it must be to be old and homeless. Partly because of the physical hardship, of course, but also because of the lack of hope. I don't know, when I see young kids, or men in their 40's, I still have some kind of hope for them. I see kids drugged out on the stoops, and I still think, there's still a chance. It's a slim chance, sure, but there nonetheless.
I think about the plight of the elderly working poor, who can't get jobs because they're 70. Even younger, really. 60. Too old to get hired, to young to retire, you know? Anyway, the point is, there is something about a homeless elderly woman that is especially heartbreaking to me. Imagine that, being 68 years old and homeless, and sure, she could go through the system and wait on endless lines and wade through reams of paperwork, to maybe get permanent housing, or Medicaid or something. But there's no real hope left, is there? No hope of someday getting it together, getting the job you know you could get, pulling yourself up and out. How could she help herself now? I should think about that.
And this morning, I was walking by Chr1st0pher P@rk, and I noticed a couple standing in front of the gay couple statues. I walk by them every day, and barely notice anymore, but today I had an idea. The statues, if you don't know, are of two women and two men, embracing their own sex. And I was thinking that maybe I could make a little statement on my views of some of what's going on in this country. Tomorrow, I'm going to go to the party store and buy two veils and two bowties, and dress them up for the wedding they should be allowed to have. Don'tcha think?
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last five entries:
done - 2005-09-16
playgroup, my ass - 2005-09-15
late, but heartfelt - 2005-09-13
she lives - 2005-08-18
cheese me - 2005-05-20